Israeli Threatens Terror Campaign Unless Palestinian Ends Occupation Of Parking Space

Jerusalem resident Moshe Rabinowitz announced today that he will initiate a terror campaign, specifically targeting Palestinian Abdul-Rahman Al-Abbas, if Abbas does not immediately halt his occupation of a parking spot located outside of Rabinowitz’s office supply store.

“Oy, this putz, this usurper, is making me meshuggah with his rogue parking ways. What, what is this, some kind of public parking extravaganza?” implored the irate man, pointing at the nearby public parking spot that is the source of consternation.

“My family, as well as my customers, have been parking in that spot for generations. Suddenly this Abdullah-come-lately, with his Lada, a Lada I tell you, thinks he can park here? If there is a U.N. mandate that makes this possible, no one has bothered to show it to me.

“If he doesn’t move that thing, which I equate with an unlawful occupation of my sovereign territory, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. My response will be brutal and without warning.”

When reached for comment while adding coins to a parking meter in the disputed area, Abbas responded, “Now that’s irony”.

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