Shot Of 5-Hour Synergy Enables Liar To Close Deal After Marathon Sales Pitch

A serving of the popular deceit enhancer 5-Hour Synergy enabled liar Sara Applemans to close a lucrative sale with Fabco Industries after a grueling presentation that was reportedly “touch and go” until the truth-stretching benefits of the elixir took effect.

“I was afraid I was losing them, I just wasn’t able to get them to recognize the Macrosoft Ultra value proposition”, the Macrosoft sales representative described. “Part of it may have been that I was so hung over from the night before that I wasn’t bringing my ‘A-Game’, but frankly the C-Suite at Fabco wouldn’t recognize a paradigm shift even if they had unlimited bandwidth to sit around and read the tea leaves.

“So we tabled the discussion for a few minutes, and I excused myself to go puke”, Applemans continued. “Afterwards, I remembered that I had a 5-Hour Synergy in my purse. So I choked that down to get the taste out of my mouth, it actually tastes only slightly better than vomit. But I felt a little better, and we reconvened.

“Well let me tell you, I was a different person when I got back in there. I did a 180 and re-emphasized how our Web 2.0-based offering was a turn-key solution that would integrate, totally plug and play, with their infrastructure.

“When I told them that they would be able to right-size their IT staff by a minimum of 20% because of the economies of scale that Ultra would deliver at the end of the day, their eyes lit up, I could see the wheels turning, and I knew I had them. From there, all it took was a little ‘data-driven metrics’ and some ‘industry best practices’, then twenty minutes later we were all shaking hands and I was taking a rain-check on drinks.”

At press time, Applemans was waiting for the Fabco commision check to be direct-deposited into her bank account so that she could abruptly resign to accept a position with MySpacebook before getting thrown under the bus once Fabco peeled back the onion and did their due diligence.


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