“No Thanks, I’m Not Much Of A Drinker” Demurs Inveterate Paint Huffer

New Cresthaven Estates resident Larry Filkins, 38, politely declined the offer of a cocktail at Jim and Abigail Dexter’s neighborhood gathering, fellow attendees reported.

“Never touch the stuff, but thanks again”,  Filkins announced to the small group near which he was standing. “It’s not a religious thing or anything like that, I’m totally cool with it. To each his own”

“Party on!”, Filkins added, to the group of people who seemed to know each other already and who had resumed their conversations.

Filkins remained standing amid the revelers for a few minutes, then retreated to the kitchen where he discreetly asked Abigail Dexter if he could borrow a plastic grocery bag “to take care of a personal matter”.

“Of course Gary. Are you sure you won’t let me take your coat?”, Dexter reiterated, referring to the rolled up bundle that was firmly ensconced under Filkins’ arm.

“Oh no, I don’t want to be a bother, I’m going to step outside for a smoke anyway”, Filkins replied.

At press time, paramedics were treating the disoriented Filkins for hypoxia, noting how his Krylon Bauhaus Gold (#51801) coated face complemented the vibrant color palette of the picturesque, fated sunset.


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