PBS’ Rational Discourse Forces Rational Man To Ponder Irrational Self-Destruction

After a back-to-back viewing of the most recent installments of Frontline and Moyers & Company from his DVR, Salem man Chad Stryker, 41, was thrust into a pit of hopelessness and despair that nearly culminated in the taking of his own life.

The episodes, which dealt with the relentless failure of government to check the power of Wall Street (Frontline) and the continuing erosion of civil rights and rule-of-law in the face of extra-judicial drone strikes (Moyers), drove the well-educated, reasonable man to the brink of suicide with their in-depth, thorough discussion of the unbelievably consequential issues, uninterrupted by commercial breaks and distracting crawls and graphics packages.

“God, it is so hopeless, especially the Wall Street crap. It’s just soul-destroying how, five years out, the too-big-to-fail problem is EVEN WORSE, how those pricks just flaunt the law and it’s just a revolving door of regulators moving between industry and government.

“Then, Moyers had Matt Taibbi on, that guy just drains the life from me every time he speaks. Every word he says just drives home the utter helplessness of the predicament for ‘the little guy’. And I’m not that little, at least I’m comfortably middle-class, for a few more years at least, until the plutocracy manages to fully enact neo-feudalism”, Stryker continued, punctuating the statement with a sigh of grim resignation.

“The drone strike stuff is more abstract, but the panel really drove home the significance of the constitutional questions of what is going on, the balance between the need for national secrecy versus the total lack of checks and balances in the process. It truly is a slippery slope that fucking Bush started, but Obama has failed to end, campaign promises aside.

“They never once raised their voices or called each other idiots. Throughout, Moyers, of course, was asking incisive, thought-provoking questions advancing the discussion, but not wrapping it up in a five-minute, pat little package. These real constitutional questions that actually matter, rather than imbeciles railing on about the 2nd Amendment, and no one else in the media is even talking about them. God it’s just too much. Between this stuff, and a dozen other seemingly insurmountable problems, there’s just one conclusion: we’re so fucked.”

Stryker eventually stepped back from the brink when he realized that, given the sheer number of firearms and psychotics in the United States, it is only a matter of time before deranged maniacs begin to, even accidentally, eliminate members of the financial aristocracy via indiscriminate slaughter, before ultimately taking their own lives.

“If only there was some way to get these gun-toting lunatics to see these financial pricks as demons or monsters or whatever forces them to snap, instead of targeting random, innocent people, maybe we could achieve some real societal change. Grass-roots activism seems pretty useless at this point”, the shaken man offered dejectedly.


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