Manager Apparently Does Not Know What Placebos Are

Following a casual exchange by the coffee machine, employee Lucius Connors was uncertain whether or not pathologically gregarious manager Charles (Chip) Higgins actually knows the meaning of the word “placebo”.

“I was getting a cup of coffee the other day”, explained Connors, a network engineer at HermCo Bushings, “And Chip walked up to get something. Out of nowhere, he started talking about Green Tea, saying something about how ‘The ladies at his previous office got him hooked on it, that they swore that it helped them stay healthy, manage stress, blah, blah, blah'”.

“Well, I made some smart-aleck remark like ‘Yeah, my doctor gave me placebos for that’, and Chip didn’t bat an eye and said, ‘Oh really, did they work for you?’

“I was taken aback for a second, and I said ‘Oh, I was just kidding, you know, placebos’. And he was like, ‘Oh right. Well I’ve gotta run to a meeting’. It was really awkward. I’m not sure if he didn’t know what placebos are, or maybe he was really distracted, or if it was a masterpiece of deadpan humor. I’ve never known Chip to be subtle, so I’m leaning towards one of the other alternatives.”

Higgins, 50, the deputy business manager for non-metallic bushings, has a Bachelors of Arts degree in Business Administration and reportedly makes $125,000 per year, plus bonuses. He is known for his relentlessly chipper demeanor, which has been characterized as “almost painfully” upbeat at times.

At press time, Higgins was waxing ecstatically about the great deal he got on the extended warranty for his new cellular phone.


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