Media Daddy Shows Young Upstart How It’s Done

Here at The Phonyon, America’s Goodest News Source, our affection for The Onion, America’s Finest News Source is well documented.

In general, we are not in the habit of being a “content aggregation” site. Our editorial standards are too high and our commitment to original journalism is too strong to stoop to such pedestrian tactics.

However, when the public interest is served and our readers can be enriched, we will not hesitate to offer links to external content that meets our rigorous standards.

Here is a link to what may be the greatest Onion article of all time, at least in the opinion of the Phonyon Staff.

Setting aside the brilliance of the biting satire, and the amusing but well-trod tracks of Bush-bashing, this masterpiece is noteworthy in its execution of the (fabricated) principle of C.H.A.V.O.I.D that we find so appealing in the best work of the Onion:

  • Commitment, Completeness
  • Hilarious, Hyperbolic
  • Abstraction
  • Voice, Vocabulary
  • Outrage
  • Intellect (cloaked in profanity), Inspired
  • Detail

We hope that you, dear reader, enjoy the article half as much as we did.


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