High-tech startup ChimpMonkey made history yesterday when it became the first corporation to successfully combine two varieties of primate into its business name.
The company, which will provide a scalable, cloud-based synergy cluster infrastructure, made the announcement following the filing of its Articles of incorporation with the State of Delaware’s Division of Incorporation.
“Since the dawn of time, when our ancestors first crawled from the sea and set up rudimentary sole-proprietorships, mankind has yearned to form a company whose name captures the rich tapestry of our order within Mammalia. Today, that dream became a reality!”, proclaimed ChimpMonkey founder Justin Bigelow to an enthusiastic gathering in Silicon Valley.
Since the mid 2000’s, after companies such as Survey Monkey and Mail Chimp took the first tenuous steps towards creating a dual-anthropoid moniker, several attempts to achieve the breakthrough failed early in the development process. Notable efforts included GorillaChap, ChimpManZee, and the ill-fated Apeboongutan, which tried unsuccessfully to combine three variations of simian in 2008, just prior to the onset of the Great Recession.
At press time, tech incubator Shazzbot was threatening to withdraw funding from ChimpMonkey, when it was revealed that their functional capabilities were limited to programmatically “liking” certain Facebook posts and periodically tweeting grammatically-suspect gibberish embellished with the hashtag #FearTheChimpMonkey.