Salem methamphetamine manufacturer Clyde Barlow, a man long plagued by feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing, operates in the criminal underworld under the alias “Uhlenbeck”.
The pseudonym is an homage to George Uhlenbeck (1900-1988), an academic and theoretical physicist who was jointly responsible for the discovery of electron spin, a fundamental concept in the field of quantum mechanics. Continue reading
Lack Of Hostility Towards Assad Regime, Crappiness Of Content Cited
The Phonyon, America’s Goodest News Source, was not the victim of a security breach launched by the Syrian Electronic Army, nor would it likely be at any time in the future, alleged representatives of the cabal reported today.
“We, the Syrian Electronic Army, have no intention of attacking The Phonyon, despite it’s professed adoration of the evil, Zionist-fueled propaganda machine, The Onion, America’s Finest News Source“, hacker Monsour89, who claimed to represent the SEA, posted on several well-known hacker forums. Continue reading
This and this and this and this.
The Phonyon Staff, to a person still pretty angry and disgusted with recent events, hopes to resume our typical output of smart-ass bullshit in the near future, if people could just give it a goddamn rest for a few days.
The most advanced species of World F65AB38 in Region 137BD continues to exert a sustained, unconscionable campaign of violence against itself, reflecting profound psychological problems that virtually guarantee its own, imminent extinction, Gorthrar  of the Observation Array reported today. Continue reading