“Better Kill Saul” Decides Albuquerque Man

Belize Is Nice This Time Of Year

Belize Is Nice This Time Of Year

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Woman Worried Neighbor May Be Pushing Grass

Albuquerque woman Rebecca Simmons expressed concern today that her neighbor may have become a major “pusher” (illegal distributor) of the narcotic marihuana, also known by its street name “grass”.

The spry septuagenarian, who is known to her friends as “Becky” and resides in the 300 block of Negra Arroyo Lane, has become increasingly troubled by the circumstances of her neighbors of over fifteen years, Walter and Skyler White.

The Suspected Grass House

The Suspected Grass House

“I’ve known them (the Whites) for years, such a nice young couple. They’ve got a new baby, and this poor crippled boy, who’s just the nicest young man you’ll ever meet”, Simmons explained. “But about a year ago, the husband, Walter, was diagnosed with cancer. Continue reading

Food Network Announces Consumption-Based Programming For Viewers Too Lazy To Watch Cooking Shows

Food Network executives announced today plans to develop a new genre of meal-based entertainment programming, eschewing the often tedious details of food preparation and highlighting the actual ingestion of already prepared dishes.

According to Bob Tuschman, senior vice-president in charge of programming at Food Network, extensive market research and focus group testing showed that a sizable segment of the coveted 18-49 year-old male demographic was “somewhat” to “highly” indifferent to watching celebrity chefs prepare gourmet dishes. Continue reading

A-Rod Victim Of Anti-Christian Conspiracy

Embattled New York Yankee’s slugger Alex Rodriguez has been victimized by an elaborate smear campaign targeting his deeply-held religious convictions, according to a source within the Rodriguez camp who spoke under condition of anonymity.a-rod-got-money

The “A-Rod” confidant reports that the superstar’s latest association with PEDs (Performance Enhancing Drugs) was leaked to the press in January 2013 by the owner of the implicated Biogenesis clinic, Anthony Bosch, who the source alleges is a senior leader of Al-Qaeda. Continue reading